Labor Party hacks, leftist shills (who aren’t me), “commentators”, Paul Howes…I’m talking to YOU.

Tony Abbott is NOT unpopular. He is not unelectable. He is not “unfit to lead”. 

YOU are unpopular. A primary vote of 30% guarantees that. That means less than one-in-three Australians thinks giving your mob control of the Treasury is a good idea. You’re behind anywhere from 5 to 10 points on the two-party preferred, which means that not that many people who dislike you prefer you over the other guys.

Abbott being behind Gillard as preferred PM means exactly this: JACK SHIT.

The primary vote matters, because some seats are less vulnerable to swings than others, and two-party matters because it shows, roughly, how many voters have jumped sides to deliver marginal seats to the other mob. Which candidate voters SAY they prefer as PM means absolutely nothing. If 56% are going to preference the Coalition, then you lose, whether they ‘prefer’ Gillard as Prime Minister or not.

There’s no such thing as ‘unelectable’. Anybody can win an election, if they get the votes. George Reid was a high-pitched fatso with narcolepsy. He won elections. Jack Curtin was a drunk. Jim Scullin was a Catholic back when that was practically a crime. Malcolm Fraser was a patrician, stony-faced Vulcan. John Howard, for Christ’s sake, a man with all the charisma and personal appeal of a pubic wart, got elected four times. You’re making up words to suit your own warped view of reality.

There’s no such thing as “fit to lead”. The person who’s the leader is the leader. If they win, they’re leading. They do it in their own way. Some are chairmen of the board. Some are more presidential. Some are nice, some are pricks. You can’t identify personal qualities in a person and say “oh, that’s a leader” or “oh, that’s not.”

Let’s be clear: I will take to my bed in grief if and when Abbott is elected prime minister. He’s a loathsome, pitiful, petty, bigoted dickhead of a man. But he’s not unpopular. He should be. Your team should be pissing all over him. But you aren’t. He’s still ahead. No matter what “preferred PM” polls say, if the election were held today you’d be wiped out faster than Laurie Oakes eats a pizza. 

This is YOUR fault. YOU fucked up. YOU fucked up policy, you fucked up politics. Yes, you’ve had some wins. But you go on about “345 bills passed” and “carbon price” and the Slipper business and pretend it means you’re on top. It does not. Every poll, every one, says you’re losing.

You are not going to win by trying to paint Abbott as a prick. Everyone knows he’s a prick. They don’t care. They still prefer him to you.

So for god’s sake will you please do these four things:

1. Stop fucking up.
2. Fix the previous fuck ups
3. Accept you’re behind and do what you must do in the time you have left and, most importantly,
4. SHUT THE LIVING FUCK UP.

Thank you.

Disclaimer: My sympathies, such as they are, are closer to you than Abbott. I would always preference the ALP over the Coalition. But this insistence on avoiding reality and saying things to cover up your own fuck ups pisses me the living fuck off.